Movie of the Day – Spider-Man 3

Today I give credit to the finest of all Spider-Man movies.

Yeah…so good.

Happy April 1st/Fool’s Day everyone!

Spider-Man 3

 

Movie of the Day – Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Fellow readers, I bring you this Christmas present early this December because I care about you all.  Today, you get to experience the holiday cheer that is Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, a Christmas movie in which Santa is kidnapped and brought to Mars in order to deliver presents and Christmas cheer to the citizens of Mars.  Yeah, I know.  The movie is critically panned as being one of the worst movies ever made and rightly so, but it is one of the most subversively terrible movies that you can ever witness.

So today, I bring to you the full movie, in it’s entirety along with the MST3K episode which is phenomenal.  So happy early Holidays and I will bring you yet another Holiday movie tomorrow.

Santa Claus Martians 1a

Shit Movie of the Day – Gigli

What a fucking turkey of a movie.  Gobble gobble.

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Shit Movie of the Day – Swept Away

God I wished that some sort of current would come and sweep me away from this movie.  It isn’t so much that the movie is good, it’s just that the potential of this movie is squandered in the most obtuse way possible that you just seethe and your disdain for the movie grows in every scene.  You have Guy Ritchie, who is a fantastic director, basically trying to get Madonna to not be Madonna and act as someone other than herself.  It’s a monumental task that just fucks up every aspect of this movie and its clear that Swept Away is just some big charade and excuse to send Madonna off to a mini-vacation on some gorgeous island.

Also she can’t act…at all!  How she got away with Evita is beyond me, but since it was more musical and she is a musician, I guess that helped.  Here, not so much.


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Shit Movie of the Day – Epic Movie

You know, parody movies use to be some of my favorite comedy movie around.  Airplane!, The Naked Gun series, Top Secret and Mel Brooks movies were the essential comedic movies in my youth.  These “parody” movies such Disaster Movie, Meet The Spartans, even Scary Movie are just raping the corpse of comedy.  This Epic Movie just made me angry.  I honestly feel like these were made for kids to have a movie to go to so they can text and talk.  Parody movies are supposed to be insightful with their lampooning and satirical take on the subject matter.  This is just everything that is wrong with comedy.

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Movie of the Day – The Wicker Man (2006)

I am keeping this so bad it’s good movie train running because I fucking love watching bad movies.  Sure I have covered Birdemic and The Room the past two days, but it’s time for me to briefly cover a movie that is just a train wreck from start to finish.  The Wicker Man, not the one from 1974, but the 2006 bat shit insane Nic Cage punch fest that turned out to be more unintentional comedy than a horror movie.  When the crowning achievement of this movie is seeing Nic Cage in a bear suit randomly punching women on a secluded island, you know you have gold on your hands.

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