Movie Review – I Declare War

Well I hope everyone is having an excellent Labor Day weekend, I certainly have so it’s time to put out another post on the blog.  Sadly I have been slipping on duties of posting everyday since like July, but I am hopefully going to be less busy and start getting back into the swing of things.  So like usual, I have been working with the fine folks at Lost In Reviews and now I have another review to put out for everyone!

This time around I talk about I Declare War, which is a fantastic film about kids taking the game of capture the flag to the most imaginative step possible.  Check it out on VOD or in theaters as it is finally getting a wide release.

As usual, there is an excerpt of the review and a link to the full article.  Enjoy!

I Declare War is the movie that we all lived and experienced when we were young and outside playing with friends.  It is the sort of movie that reminds you what it is like being a young kid and getting a group of friends together to play war.  Whether you were the rich kids with your cool Nerf toys, engaging in neighborhood combat with super soakers or dare I say, using your imagination, you lived what this movie is showcasing; a group of kids using their imagination to play out an expansive game of capture the flag.  The latest release from Drafthouse Films and directors Jason Lapeyre and Robert Wilson take that childhood game of war and turning it into a reflection on growing up between the time of being young and carefree, but also the looming notion of being a teen.

Click here for the full review.

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Movie Review – The Spectacular Now

Another writing assignment from the folks at Lost In Reviews and this time I got a chance to sit down and watch The Spectacular Now.  With out going into too much detail and spoiling anything for people who might be interested in this movie, this is nothing short of perfect.  This is the coming of age movie that this generation needs and will be fondly looked at years to come.  Please please see this movie, I can’t recommend it enough.

Below is an excerpt from my review and a link to the full review at Lost In Reviews.

Enjoy!

It wasn’t until I saw The Spectacular Now, that I realized that we can get a high school movie with characters who aren’t just picked out of a yearbook of archetypes and clichés, that we can get a movie with characters we can truly resonate with and a movie that we can see and relate to the pangs of growing up and not knowing what to do with life.  I don’t want to say that this IS the quintessential high school/coming of age movie, but it sure feels like we are witnessing something spectacular.

Click here for the full review.

Film-Shailene Woodley

Movie Review – Jobs

Well I was given another writing assignment, mainly cause I requested that I get the opportunity to write about this first generation Steve Jobs movie that Hollywood practically tripped over themselves to make first.  So I got the chance to see and review Jobs, the Ashton Kutcher movie in which he plays Kelso Jobs or Steve Jobs…whatever.  This ladies and gentlemen, is why you always wait for the second gen models of Apple products to come out.  It lets the next model get all those nasty flaws and bugs out of the system.

Check out my full review over at Lost In Reviews and I will update with our podcast over this and many more movies.

Enjoy!

What’s sad is that this movie falls into the trappings that are the hallmark of Apple’s products.  It’s big, grandiose, a flashy veneer, and like any Apple product, there will be a second gen model that is better than the original.  Jobs is too ambitious in what it wants to be, but it also isn’t sure what it truly wants to be either.  Director Joshua Michael Stern tackles the life of Steve Jobs, who is played by Ashton Kutcher, and tries to cover the entirety of Steve’s time starting and running Apple, to his ousting in the mid 80’s and his heralded return a decade later.  This monolithic time span doesn’t allow for any real growth, just a series of scenes centered around Apple launch products that showcase Jobs as this rebellious asshole who has a vision that no one else can fathom, often leading the viewer down this path of either canonizing him or demonizing him.

Click here for the full review.

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Movie Review – R.I.P.D.

Well, I ended up seeing this gem of a movie and ended up writing a review for the site I contribute to, so if you have any interest in seeing what I had to say about this Men In Black style movie, head on over to LostInReviews.com and see what I got to say.

I will just bury the lead and let you see what I had to say.

Do you remember great buddy cop movies like 48 Hours, Lethal Weapon, Hot Fuzz, or maybe Dragnet? Perhaps some alien/other worldly action comedies that utilize a partner mentality like Men in Black and Ghostbusters.  Well R.I.P.D. is not the movie for you, sadly, if the trailer and premise was anything you got excited for.  In a summer where inevitable sequels, remakes, and established properties are going to rule the roost, R.I.P.D. is a bad mashup of so many other movies that its bloated corpse will float to the top of the list of bad movies this summer.  Thankfully, the smell is masked by some (few) things about a movie that is based on so many other movies and an established comic book property.

Click here to read the full review.

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Movie Review (sort of) – Grown Ups 2

THANKS A LOT AMERICAN MOVIE GOING PUBLIC!  YOU FUCKED US ONCE AGAIN BY MAKING THIS MOVIE PROFITABLE!

Seriously, this movie beat out Pacific Rim.  PACIFIC RIM!  A movie about gigantic robots battling gigantic monsters from the deep is apparently not even dumb enough for you to march into the movie theaters, but Adam Sandler rehashing the same exact shit from the first Grown Ups movie is enough to win you over.  This is why there are no original movies coming out of Hollywood, this is why we won’t get new properties or original ideas because Hollywood sees dollar signs in the fact that the people have spoken and they love shit.

I ended up seeing this for free and wanted to choke somebody out for this.  To be fair, I only watched like 25 minutes of the movie before leaving the Drafthouse in utter disbelief that this was getting uproarious laughs.

Did the movie going public not know what Pacific Rim was about and did a cursory Google search on it?   I can understand if for some reason they did a search and ran across this image for a Gay Porno of the same name.

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Listen, that is reasonably understandable if they saw that image and did’t want to sit through Pacific Rim and chose Grown Ups 2 over this.  But to be perfectly honest, I would rather watch this porno than Grown Ups 2 because at least with the porn movie, I am not the one getting fucked.

Anyways, this isn’t really a review more so than a rant that we will eventually get a Grown Ups 3.  If you don’t think we will, then you truly underestimate what a truck load of cash and another ding on your dignity will inspire.

For Grown Ups 2, I have this video image to say:

Enjoy all 10 hours of it.

Movie Review – Pacific Rim

I imaging Jaegers give the greatest of high fives.

It has been 20 years in the making since I fondly remember battling monsters with my transformer action figures when I was like 8.  Pretending that these two plastic toys are really engaging in some sort of world-wide destruction battle, I just wish that it was something for real that we could see.  Not real in the sense like there was an actual attack on America by Godzilla, but something more live action than my young, developing brain could imagine.

Now that I am a little older, a little wiser and still have the mindset of wanting to see giant mech battles with giant monsters, I think I have found the movie of my youth.  That movie is Pacific Rim.

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Movie Review – The Lone Ranger

When you have a Armie Hammer, everything looks like a nail.

That sentence has nothing to do with the movie itself, but I guess The Lone Ranger itself doesn’t have anything to do with The Lone Ranger of the past.  Yes, the inevitable mining of intellectual properties by Hollywood has led to them resurrecting The Lone Ranger himself into a modern day blockbuster filled with Johnny Depp, action, Johnny Depp, more extraneous action and did I mention, Johnny Depp.  The Hollywood juggernauts behind the Pirates series decide that the American Western needs more Jack Sparrow and ridiculous run times to the proceedings to make it palpable for the current film going public.  Let me just say this right off the bat, this cowboy should have rode off into the sunset, never to be seen again.

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Movie Review – A Band Called Death

Death comes for us all.

You know, I always associate Detroit with the soulful sounds of Motown and funk music.  I mean bands like The Temptation, The Supremes, Martha and the Vandellas and even the Contours basically defined the music scene there.  I fully get that this is a narrow view of the rich diversity of the Detroit music scene, but when I think of a group of African-American musicians coming together to create music, I and the subjects of the rockumentary A Band Called Death will tell you, the expectation is that it would be Motown-esque.  Thanks to the efforts of directors Mark Covino and Jeff Howlett, we get to uncover a band whose time has finally come.  Some 30 years ago, a group of African-American brothers would form a band that would change the music scene of their time by being, what some would contend, the first punk band ever.  That is, they would have been if it weren’t for the name and their unconventional playing style.

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Movie Review – World War Z

Ok let’s just get this out of the way first before we discuss the movie.  World War Z is in no way shape or form anything like the Max Brooks book of the same name.  Those hoping to see a National Geographic-esque documentary about the aftermath of the zombie apocalypse and mankind reeling from the Z attack, will be utterly crushed under a horde of zombies.  If you can come to terms with the fact that the latest zombie blockbuster is just that, a zombie blockbuster that shares the same name with the book, you will find an enjoyable, action packed summer movie that you can just check your brain at the door.  With that said, let’s shamble (or in the movies case, sprint) on through the squishy insides of director Marc Forster (Monster’s Ball, Machine Gun Preacher, Stranger Than Fiction) and star Brad Pitt’s attempt to give the zombie genre a big screen, summer blockbuster.

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Movie Review – The Bling Ring

Hmmm, rich, vapid young teens who are bored with the mundane lifestyles of their own opulent lives  decided to go on a crime spree that involves stealing from rich celebrities because there is nothing better to do with their time.  That is the basic premise behind Sofia Coppola’s The Bling Ring and surprisingly the actual real life events that were just juicy pieces of tabloid trash and upscale magazine fillers.  Anything dealing with the rich and famous will get the masses interested and the real life crime spree that these teens did was almost too good to pass up.

I can see why Coppola decided to make this sort of movie or at least adapt the story to the big screen.  This story was the center of a Vanity Fair article on the teens and their notorious crimes against celebrities.  It went into detail about the robberies of Lohan, Hilton, Bloom and other celebrities that call Beverly Hills their home.  The story then turned into a Lifetime movie called Bling Ring and now Coppola gets to do yet another movie about the supposed banality of the rich and affluent.  If anything, it just solidifies my assumption that Sofia only likes to do movie that involve rich white people and their rich white people problems.  Sigh, being wealthy, gorgeous, glamorous and young is so tiring and banal.

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