Shit Movie of the Day – Battlefield Earth

Son of a bitch, my nightmare won’t end.  I thought that just maybe…maybe…a science fiction film would be slightly interesting, maybe even entertaining to some degree.  I haven’t really been led of the path with sci-fi movies so I mean Battlefield Earth kind of sounded a bit interesting to me, but shit, I felt like I just got indoctrinated into Scientology after watching this movie.

This big-budget science fiction adventure centers on a final battle between good and evil for control of the world. In the year 3000, Earth is ruled by the Psyclos, a vicious alien race of which Terl (John Travolta) is a member, that has laid waste to the planet, killed the majority of the population, and stripped Earth of its valuable resources. Pockets of resistance remain among the surviving humans; Jonnie “Goodboy” Tyler (Barry Pepper) is one such rebel, living in hiding in the mountains near Boulder, CO. Eventually, Johnny begins organizing like-minded humans for a final stand against the Psyclos. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi

This is probably one of the most boring, misguided and shittiest science fiction film I have ever seen and I have seen a lot.  I couldn’t believe that this movie missed so many mark, so many chances to develop some story or even tried to make this into a coherent movie.  I honestly felt like this movie was 3 hours long and in reality, was just over 100 minutes, that is how agonizing to felt to watch this movie.  I think climbing up the side of a volcano and waiting to be thrown into it to clear my body of those parasites or whatever scientologists believe would have taken less time than watching this movie and also would have been much more of a merciful punishment.  All I know is that this movie depicted big Klingon looking aliens fighting primitive man beasts or whatever for control of Earth and it’s gold…I think.  You know what, forget it, the story doesn’t matter.  I mean the movie was based on half of a 800 page Hubbard book.  Is it one of those books that you need to get through the first 1000 pages before it gets good?  If so this is the live action equivalent to reading that book.

Battlefield Earth couldn’t even manage to make action sequences, a simple gun battle, into anything more than an exercise in futility.  I imaging that the process to become a Scientologist is funner and livelier than the action.  None of it makes any sense in terms of what happens in every scene cause the movie doesn’t feel like it has some over connecting story to every scene.  It feels chopped up and then rearranged in particular order.  I was just confused and irritated I was watching this movie.  While the scenes made no sense and just confusing to watch, the villains in this movie are just atrocious.  Apparently the Psyclos come from a world where they are taught to talk pompously and laugh maniacally at an early age.  There is so much villainous laughter that you would think the Psyclos were constantly tying people to train tracks and twirling their mustaches all the time.  It’s insane how over the top these villains are and Travolta doesn’t help the matter since he is just fucking chewing up the scenes like Hubbard is going to smile down upon his favorite son with that acting.

This is just a complete pile of garbage that somehow bends space and time in order to prolong the feeling of watching this movie.  I can’t stress enough that I felt as if this movie was 3 hours long and it was actually half of that time.  It’s amazing how this sucks you into the shit storm of bad story telling, bad acting, bad set designs, bad everything and still this got made.  The fact it is based off of existing text and is only half of the story that Hubbard wrote leads me to believe that Scientology gets its followers because it beats you over the head with numbness and then being brain dead, calmly lets you into the ranks of the church.

Yeah, this movie should probably be thrown into the nearest volcano to cleanse its theatans or whatever.

About Nick
I am just another blogger putting his thoughts into a website. My love is movies so most of my musings will be movie related. I work as an online marketer for an advertising company and when I am not earning a paycheck, I moonlight as a vigilante film blogger.

6 Responses to Shit Movie of the Day – Battlefield Earth

  1. There are shit movies and then there are SHIT movies. This is a SHIT movie. I agree w/ your, “it feels like three hours” comment.

    Also, I think this film killed Barry Pepper’s film career.

    • Nick says:

      I never really viewed Barry Pepper as a leading man sort of actor. He has always been memorable to me as secondary characters like in 25th Hour and Saving Private Ryan.

      Also god this movie blows.

  2. theipc says:

    This……… sucked……

  3. filmhipster says:

    …oh man, don’t get me started on this film. It’s beyond ‘the shit movie of the day’ classification.

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