Shit Movie of the Day – Kangaroo Jack

I kept hearing about this movie for a while when I first decided to watch all these shitty movies.  Like whispers of a movie that shouldn’t have been and only talked about as if you were mention Voldemort or discussing a shadow government.  I have to admit I was intrigued considering I have never seen the trailer for this movie until a few days ago and also because of how bad the word of mouth is for this movie.  I looked into it and thought how could a PG family friendly movie be so terrible?  I mean it’s for kids right?  So this shouldn’t be utterly horrific or offensive?

Two low-level American crooks head to Australia, where they match wits with a kangaroo (who appears to have an intellectual edge on his pursuers) in this broad comedy. Charlie Carbone (Jerry O’Connell) is a hairdresser from Brooklyn whose best friend, Louis Booker (Anthony Anderson), scrapes together a living moving stolen merchandise. Charlie’s stepfather, Sal Maggio (Christopher Walken), is a crime kingpin who has loaned Charlie a lot of money and wants to know when he’ll get it back; Sal’s not especially fond of Louis, especially after he and Charlie accidentally lead the police to a storehouse of burgled goods owned by Sal. Charlie owes Sal a big favor, and Sal wants Charlie and Louis out of his hair for a while, so Sal sends them to Australia, where they’re to deliver a large amount of cash to a mysterious Mr. Smith (Marton Csokas). En route to their meeting in the outback, Charlie and Louis accidentally run over a kangaroo, and the half-bright tourists decide to dress the dead marsupial in sunglasses and Louis’ favorite jacket for snapshots. However, the animal wasn’t as dead as they imagined, and it soon hops away, shortly after Louis realizes the payment to Mr. Smith was in the pocket. Now Louis and Charlie are out to find the fast-moving critter, with the help of Jessie (Estella Warren), a wildlife expert; Mr. Jimmy (David Ngoombujarra), a wilderness guide; and Blue (Bill Hunter), a pilot familiar with the outback. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi

First and foremost, fuck this fucking movie.  Things immediately go off the rails once the two hapless shits of O’Connell and Anderson run over a kangaroo and then dress up the presumably dead kangaroo in clothes and take pictures with it.  What the fuck!  What kind of asinine director thinks that is even remotely funny when their characters do horrible, frathouse style humor.  You do realize that I am supposed to care about these characters right?  I mean this doesn’t help when your two stars are killing kangaroos and getting a laugh out the corpse of their kill.

This is not a kids movie.  Not even by a remote outside shot of being appropriate for kids.  They kill a kangaroo, mock its corpse, then it turns into something completely different and becomes some overly sexually suggestive romance movie.  I know kids are growing up at a rapid pace, but shit this is not even meant for them.  I guess the computer animated kangaroo is supposed to be the wild card in any family friendly movie, but even the jokes are too juvenile for most kids.  Hell I think their comedic tastes are much better than seeing camels fart constantly.

I think I am just more offended that this passes for a movie nowadays.  Nothing about this is redeemable because the two bumbling guys in the movie are supposed to be likable and end being terrible human beings.  Shit, did they really need to dress up a corpse of a kangaroo and take photos with it?  Who the fuck does that other than sociopaths and serial murders?  There are no laughs to be had and I am certain if kids watch this, they might fall asleep.  The acting is atrocious, the story is banal, the digital kangaroo had more personality and life than the actors, and not a single laugh was had during the 89 minute movie that was 80 minutes longer than it should have been.

Don’t ever subject yourself to this tripe.

About Nick
I am just another blogger putting his thoughts into a website. My love is movies so most of my musings will be movie related. I work as an online marketer for an advertising company and when I am not earning a paycheck, I moonlight as a vigilante film blogger.

16 Responses to Shit Movie of the Day – Kangaroo Jack

  1. mistylayne says:

    I would NEVER subject myself to this. 😉

  2. lilithspeak says:

    Holy crap! I love the premis of your blog. Nice work!

  3. Why do you hate yourself so much to watch this shit?

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