Shit Movie of the Day – Tiptoes

First, I am couldn’t find a legit trailer for this movie and I am not certain if this is a fan made one or not.  Regardless of that fact, the movie is about as insane as the trailer is.

Second, after watching this movie, I am at least 90% certain that this is probably a hate crime of some sort against little people.

Gary Oldman…what….the…fuck?

Matthew Bright directs the romantic comedy Tiptoes, written by Bill Weiner. Rolfe (Gary Oldman) is a dwarf, but his brother Steven (Matthew McConaughey) is not. When Steven’s wife, Carol (Kate Beckinsale), gets pregnant, she worries about the baby being born a dwarf. She also ends up falling for Rolfe, much to her surprise. ~ Andrea LeVasseur, Rovi

I thought that this was a joke.  I really did.  When I was looking up some terrible movies for this month’s posting, I was just dumbfounded.  I didn’t think it was at all real but it showed up again and again.  It seemed so utterly bizarre, like a Onion article that came to life.  I mean, this was real, it was in fact real when I tracked down the movie.  I watched it, with the sort of slack jawed, open mouth agape in utter silence.  I didn’t say anything, I didn’t scoff or even try to interject my own commentary into the movie.  What was unfolding on screen was utterly mad.  I wasn’t certain how I was supposed to feel.  In some ways I just felt empty and ashamed.  Some ways I felt joy that this movie got made for the sole purpose so people like myself can find this and comment on it.  The trailer above is not even the tip of the iceberg for what this movie truly has in store.

How, how did this get made?  I honestly want to know what went through the minds of the good actors that were in this movie.  Did the script come with a pile of cash next to it?  Was there like horrific blackmail video of the actors kicking little people?  What shitty contract did they sign that means that they have to do movies like this?  So many questions that I have just about the circumstances of making this movie.  I don’t even give a shit about the movie itself, I just want to know why this was made.

I mean I guess I can talk about the movie a little, but what’s the point.  It;s not like I am going to mine some sort of deep understanding from this movie or gain a bit more appreciation for the subject matter.  I personally think this is a terribly offensive movie even though the movie’s goal is to promote some sort of social tolerance…I think.  You have Gary Oldman, a fantastic actor, playing a dwarf by basically kneeling on shoes the entire movie.  Yeah, that’s how they achieved this Peter Jackson like technique, make him and put shoes on his knees.  I think I was just too shell-shocked to even muster some sort of constructive criticism or even a spiteful critique of the movie.  It’s just that fucking mind boggling.

I don’t have anything really else to say about this movie.  I think the biggest question is why did this get made.  Why does this exist?  Why did the actors agree to this?  Why on Earth is Tiptoes a real movie?

About Nick
I am just another blogger putting his thoughts into a website. My love is movies so most of my musings will be movie related. I work as an online marketer for an advertising company and when I am not earning a paycheck, I moonlight as a vigilante film blogger.

6 Responses to Shit Movie of the Day – Tiptoes

  1. mistylayne says:

    Wow…I’ve never even heard of this. Sounds utterly offensive.

    • Nick says:

      I sat through the entire movie not sure if this was real or not. Like some sort of weird waking dream where I kept imagining that Gary fucking Oldman was playing a little person in a movie that just felt offensive.

  2. theipc says:

    This movie was ALL KINDS of awful. Shit movie of the decade it came out in.

    • Nick says:

      Here’s the thing that baffles me about this. Why? Why did this get made with the actors that are in it? The movie had a good message and actually some well developed story points, but I was too focused on wondering why the hell Gary Oldman is walking around on his knees looking absolutely weird

      • theipc says:

        Whenever this first came out on TV and the wife and I watched it we were both “what the fuck” is this and I did some reading on it. Apparently this was something “very important” to Oldman or some such B.S.

      • Nick says:

        I assume it was important to him because his mortgage was overdue.

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