Shit Movie of the Day – The Happening

I DID IT!  I DID IT FOLKS!  I survived an entire month of some of the most awful, terrible movie that I have purposefully avoided because I would hate myself if I ever watched them.  I suffered through Sandler movies, Twilight, shitty science fiction movies, terrible comedies, and even movies where exposed breasts couldn’t make it enjoyable.

For those that submitted movie suggestions, I both thank you and hate you for giving these to me.  For those that followed and commented with words of encouragement and chiding, thanks.  I know I said I would live tweet one of my viewings but I have been very busy with my new gig at The Alamo Drafthouse hosting movies and shit.  It’s an awesome time doing that, but also cuts into some of my free time to do a few more movie reviews.  I hoped though, you all enjoyed one man’s quest in watching nothing but horrible ass movies for one month.  It’s the end of the road today with another M. Night movie, The Happening.

Enjoy folks!

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Shit Movie of the Day – Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1

I have never in my life, seen a more dramatic trailer for a movie that literally was even more boring than the first movie.  Yeah, I know I should probably watch the entire series in order to have a succinct opinion on the series, but when I can fill in the blanks by just watching the first and fourth movie, that’s not a great sign for an on going series.  So without further waiting, lets break into this movie.

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Shit Movie of the Day – Twilight

BRING ON THE HATE MAIL AND DEATH THREATS SUCKERS!

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Shit Movie of the Day – Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star

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Shit Movie of the Day – Showgirls

You know what, Roger Ebert perfectly summed up my feelings of this movie, a cult classic apparently, by simply stating “A waste of a perfectly good NC-17 rating.”

I couldn’t agree more.

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Shit Movie of the Day – Skyline

Man, yet another science fiction movie that has essentially shattered my realm of fantasy with one of the prettiest pieces of shit that I have ever seen.  The trailer had me, it really did.  I saw that teaser trailer and thought that this was going to be amazing, something utterly incredible to watch and behold.  I was talking about it on forums and I was discussing about it with people at the local comic book shop I frequent.  Sci-fi nerds like me were ready for some sort of mass, alien invasion battle movie.  And then when the movie happened….silence.

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Shit Movie of the Day – Battlefield Earth

Son of a bitch, my nightmare won’t end.  I thought that just maybe…maybe…a science fiction film would be slightly interesting, maybe even entertaining to some degree.  I haven’t really been led of the path with sci-fi movies so I mean Battlefield Earth kind of sounded a bit interesting to me, but shit, I felt like I just got indoctrinated into Scientology after watching this movie.

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Shit Movie of the Day – Jonah Hex

I am calling an audible folks, today was supposed to be about Batman and Robin, that god awful shitty pun of a movie, but I needed to talk about this movie, mainly for one particular thing that stood out from this horrific movie.  I will get to that thing after the jump but suffice to say that because of my shitty movie watching experience this month, Netflix recommended this movie to me, as if guiding me  towards a lower path in life.  I did see this movie in the theaters, thinking that a harmless action film based on a comic book series would be at least a bit entertaining.

Well as with predictable results since it is on my shit list, the movie was a terrible, terrible failure.  Almost as if some force of nature put a hex on the movie.  THAT’S HOW YOU DO A PUN!

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Shit Movie of the Day – The Spirit

Well yeah…I don’t know what to say about this movie.  I remember reading Will Eisner’s Golden Age comic and really enjoyed this cult hero in the comic book world, kind of Batman like in a weird way, but also with some wonderful levity to his character.  You could liken The Spirit to Dick Tracy in a sense that they have that wonderful pulp feel to the proceedings.  A fantastic comic series that you should pick up and read.  But if you want to take the cliff notes approach to the series, Frank Miller’s version is pretty much a knock-off cliff notes version of The Spirit.  So if you were take a quiz on this movie from a fan of the series, you would fail and probably be bullied for the rest of your life.  Nerd cred revoked.

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Shit Movie of the Day – The Last Airbender

Boy, M. Night sure knows how to keep riding that gravy train that is The Sixth Sense.  You know what, I liked Unbreakable and to an extent Signs, but I just can’t believe that this man keeps getting creative control of his films and also still manages to find work.  No one knows how to abuse an audience and make us do mental gymnastics to even make the mental leap to enjoying his movies, better than M. Night does. It’s astounding that his movies make the money they do, but then again when your earlier movies are based on twist endings, I guess people want to go and guess them.

So it comes to a surprise to me that M. Night was getting an opportunity to do this movie.  The Last Airbender is based on an established, fantastic television cartoon from Nickelodeon entitled Avatar The Last Airbender, so their is a template for success right there and a fanbase that will follow along.  It’s a perfect “no fuck-up movie” that will get him back in the good graces of film goers.  Well, this should have been titled “The Last Movie M. Night Gets To Make”.

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