Movie of the Day – The Monster Squad (Revisited)

I just had to, HAD TO, post this movie again for the final day of my month long horror movie post.  This…this movie is the seminal childhood movie that I look back and think, “yeah, I am a movie watcher now”.  It is this movie and The Goonies which will be my favorite childhood movies ever.  Undisputed classics, but for Halloween, I felt I needed to bring this movie up again.  It is one of my favorite movies and it includes all the classic Universal Monsters in their glory.

This movie has it all, teen adventure, comedy, horror, vampires, mummies, werewolves, nard kicking, silver bullets, chubby fat kid that ends up being bad ass, action, frankenstein, creatures from some sort of lagoon and even montages!

If you have never seen this movie, I don’t want anything to do with you.  If you are a lady and haven’t seen it, well that’s ok i guess, but see this movie now.

Below is an excerpt from my original post and a link to the whole enchilada.  Happy Halloween!

There were three movies from the 80′s that made me who I am today.  First was The Wizard and the fact that I like to game, also it helped that I am a boy and video games are ingrained in my DNA coding.  Second, The Goonies was more or less a pivotal coming of age story to me.  A band of misfit kids going on an adventure, getting shot at, discovering a lost pirate ship, all without the supervision of adults.  The last movie did more than define me a man, it prepared me for life.  A life in which vampires, mummies, creature from some sort of Black Lagoon, and Werewolves were real and can be defeated.  No longer did I need to fear these obviously fictitious creatures, but rather I use this as a holy bible to defeat mythological creatures.  Also it taught me the word “nards” to mean balls.  I really wish people would use “nards” again.  The Monster Squad takes me back, like a young college student looking back on their posted Facebook pictures from some drunken night, I look back on this movie with great fondness and befuddlement.  Seriously, where the fuck were all the parents in every single one of these kid movies.  Kidding me that they can battle the undead and monsters without mom or dad asking questions.  The 80s were a weird time.

Click here for the original post: The Monster Squad

November to Remember – The Final Frontier

Well folks, it is one day away from the point of no return.  I have compiled a list of roughly 100 bad movie recommendations and whittled it down to the 30 I will watch and write about it.  Mainly I know I will have nothing good to say about these movies since I have taken the time and care to avoid even bothering to watching these movies.  So now the criteria.

I realize that there are a ton of just god awful movies out there from the B to Z cinema range, so I had to take the time in reviewing and watching only those that others can find easily.  So I had to be able to watch the movies either through Netflix, Youtube, or other available video mediums.  I had to tarnish my Netflix queue to get some of these movies, so you are all welcome.  I picked relatively well known movies, so sorry to those that submitted Z grade movies that are only found on VHS or movies that are obscure only to you.  Specifically sorry Misty since I can’t review Ant Farm Dickhole or that bikini car wash thing, although it totally sounds like my sort of movie.

Next I eliminated movies that are a part of franchise.  I realize that it would be too easy to just have all the shitty “Blank” Movies that Seltzer and Frieberg put out like Saw movies or even every one of the Twilight movies.  Besides, why waste the time reviewing those 5 movies or whatever when I will say the same thing.  I chose to go with a few of them and be done with it.

I will try my best to watch them all the way through, but god forbid that I shut it off and walk away from the screen.  I will give an honest review and not be harsh and snarky just because I can, although I probably will.  I will live tweet about 5 of them, pending I have the time to do so.  So if there is one that people want to live tweet with me, please let me know in the comments.

So enough with the teasing, time for the list.  Thanks to everyone who submitted a movie and following me on this terrible, Hindenburg like journey.  These will be in no particular order and the ones I will live tweet will be said the day before on Twitter.

  1. The Last Airbender
  2. Battlefield Earth
  3. The Love Guru
  4. Skyline
  5. Gigli
  6. Catwoman
  7. Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star
  8. The Happening
  9. Batman and Robin
  10. The Spirit
  11. Tiptoes
  12. Speed 2: Cruise Control
  13. White Chicks
  14. Sex and the City 2
  15. Swept Away
  16. Jack & Jill
  17. Barb Wire
  18. The Hottie and the Nottie
  19. Norbit
  20. Showgirls
  21. House of the Dead
  22. Disaster Movie
  23. Little Nicky
  24. Kangaroo Jack
  25. Twilight
  26. Twilight  Breaking Dawn
  27. Glitter
  28. Epic Movie
  29. Big Mommas Like Father Like Son
  30. From Justin to Kelly

So Say We All.

Movie Review – Elemental

Not gonna lie guys, I have been a bit busy as of late.  While trying to make it out to the theaters, which I finally saw Argo and The Man with the Iron Fists is this weekend, I have been focusing on the reviews I am doing for LostInReviews.com, which is awesome.  So another documentary again was on my docket, but this one had a much bigger impact than the previous one.  Elemental is a documentary about three different stories on three different continents but all are about the struggle to better our world.  This managed to be one of the best environmental documentaries around and I gave some loving praise to the narrative of the subjects.

As usual, here is an excerpt of my review along with a link at the bottom to the full review over at LostInReviews.com

Our environment, the state and unforeseen condition it is in, makes environmental documentaries have a particular feeling of uncertainty.  It is always about the effects of what our actions are doing to our planet, but never giving us the insight into making it better or even really framing the issue in a different light, other than being an urgent matter to correct.  You can look at documentaries like An Inconvenient Truth, Gasland, and Food, Inc. to see the clear problems and possible corrections, but its missing something entirely from the picture.  I am sure that stock images of picturesque landscapes marred by billowing smoke stacks from the fires of industry make for moving signals of the demise of our planet, but it is the human element that seems lost from it all.

Click here to read more:  LostInReviews – Elemental

Movie Review – Israel Inside

Hello readers!  As you can tell, I have another review out the gate, this time for Lost in Reviews.  As usual, I urge you to click on over to their site to get a look at the latest documentary Israel Inside.  A fascination look at the what makes Israel and the people of the country, thrive in such hardships.

Here is an excerpt of my review, which if you want to check out the rest of the review, click the link and head on over.

A lot of the news centered on the country of Israel is usually akin to death, destruction, social struggles, war and much more gloom.  A country marred in warfare might not seem like a place that can thrive, let alone provide an outlook for the people of Israel.  Well we should all know that what we see in the news is what sells papers and get viewers, as the latest documentary presented and hosted by Dr. Tal Ben Shahar, explores the positive aspects of Israel, from the humanistic side of the country and to the thriving innovation that comes from the country.

Click here to read more:  LostinReviews: Inside Israel

Movie of the Day – Sleepaway Camp

The only reason I am posting about this movie today is because the ending to Sleepaway Camp is just frightening.  Also because this movie just so happens to be sort of, in a roundabout way, the inspiration to Wet Hot American Summer.  That has to count for something in my book since that movie is fucking awesome.  I digress, Sleepaway Camp for me will only be remembered for being terribly bad, but that ending, my god that ending.

Read more of this post

Movie of the Day – The Craft

Ah, the 90s were a wonderful time indeed.  I am sure everyone remembers The Craft, at least I hope you all do.  It was like The Lost Boys, except with a stellar female cast and they just happen to be witches.  It is a guilty pleasure for as it plays out like a darker, witchier version of Heathers, which is pretty awesome in my opinion.  But since I am doing a whole month on Horror movies, it is time for a witch movie.

Read more of this post

Movie of the Day – Slugs

You know what, if you are dumb enough to get attacked and killed by slugs, then good riddance.  That is what we call “survival of the fittest” and Darwin has chosen you to be culled from society.  Slugs, I will at least give some applause for the fact that the filmmakers adapted the novel “slugs” into a rollicking monster movie where the aforementioned slugs slowly but surely kills with ridiculous efficiency.  I mean slugs as a killer creature is no more idiotic as rabbits being killers in Night of the Lepus.  While dumb in premise, the movie is fucking awesome!

Read more of this post

Movie of the Day – Cannibal! The Musical

I never knew cannibalism could so fun, lively and musical!  Leave it to Matt Stone and Trey Parker to weave their creative abilities into a musical, comedy horror movie.  Now I personally don’t have much to say about the movie overall.  It is a Troma production, thus the low visual quality and the acting is sporadic and a bit, well, childish I guess.  But what truly sets this movie apart, is the fantastic commentary from the young, soon to be famous creators of South Park.  If you have never seen the movie, well it is pretty fun and a decent musical.  There are moments of horror, but more so for the comedic effect, which is effective.  If you can get a hold of the dvd, the commentary alone is worth watching this movie.  The creators and actors just get utterly shit faced and its a blast.

Set in 1873, the film deals with Alfred Packer (Juan Schwartz, aka Trey Parker), who is accused of cannibalizing members of his six-man party on a trip West. There are comic songs, Japanese people pretending to be Indians, and a cyclops whose eye spurts pus. The film’s highlight may be Alfred’s saloon kung fu fight with a cocky fur trapper named Frenchy over his beloved horse Liane. Cannibal! is surprisingly light on gore for a Troma Team release (save for the prologue and finale), concentrating instead on goofy sight gags, sex jokes, and silly songs like “Shpadoinkle” and “Hang the Bastard.” ~ Robert Firsching, Rovi

That’s about it for a post today.  I am getting dressed for a Halloween party as Breaking Bad’s Heisenberg.

Peace!

Movie of the Day – Teen Wolf

Damn, is there anyone cooler than Michael J. Fox?  I mean besides Bill Murray who is on my list of celebrities I most want to meet, The Fox is immediately second on that list.  But this movie, man, it made being a werewolf seem so fucking boss.  Shit he was the coolest kid in high school and apparently amplified your mundane activities to lycan levels of insanity.  So what I am getting at here, if the question of “what is the one person you wish you could be” comes up, I would answer Teen Wolf.

Read more of this post

Movie Review – Least Among Saints

Well, my first official review for LostinReviews.com has been posted and I am excited to be amongst some great local writers and critics.  Since I am the low man on the totem pole, I have to trudge through movies that most will pass on.  But in my love of movies and pursuit to consume as much as possible, I gladly take on the challenge.  So my first review, of hopefully many more to come, is posted and ready to be read.  Here is a small excerpt from the review and hit the link to head on over for the full review of Least Among Saints.

It takes the accidental death of a dog in order to reach a moment of clarity for a broken down war veteran in Least Among Saints.  It was at that moment that I checked out of the movie, a seemingly cheap plot device in order to spur along the closure that is needed for this movie to feel complete and whole.  The story of the film, which is directed, written, and stars Martin Papazian, is not a new concept.  The idea of a broken individual finding redemption through tragedy and the help he gives to a boy who shares a similar life experience.  The man/child relationship and bonding theme is done in other movies like I Am Sam, Big Daddy or The Boys Are Back, this attempt by Papazian is melodramatic and a bit too brooding for its own good.

Read more here: Least Among Saints Review